So it's been a month since my last post! For shame!!
Unfortunately, the delay in posting has primarily to do with my general lack of feeling like there's anything to write about. In reality, I suppose that there has been, but between me not really being interested in writing about menial day to day activities (or sitivities, if you catch my drift), and my general hesitation to write potentially self-embarrassing/vulnerable-ating things about people that might actually then read these posts, I just haven't had any inspiration to write.
The good news is that things have been going well. My mood has been stable, and even pleasant from time to time, and I've been getting out of the apartment every once in a while and doing social things! Gasp! School is going well and I'm enjoying my classes, even if they are tending to be too slow paced and non-challenging for me.
There is bad news, however. The first piece of bad news is that my friend Alicia, with whom I had spent the largest portion of my time since we met last fall, has moved back to her home in Nebraska. This leaves me lacking a good friend who also happens to live close by. My own detriment aside, though, I am happy for her. She finished her course at the culinary arts school here in Austin quite successfully and has found employment back home to fulfill her required 'externship' thing. So here's to Alicia for being awesome and doing awesome! (And also doing a fantastic job mending holes and weak spots on several pairs of my jeans. Thank again!)
The other bit of bad news involves my experience at Church. I should start off this part by stating that my experience with Church here in Austin has been, by far, the best and most fulfilling one I've had since High School. I am definitely much better off having moved here and getting involved with this ward than I would have been otherwise. That being said, I am becoming rather frustrated with many things related to Church. Quick aside, it has nothing to do with the Church itself, so you needn't worry about that. My beliefs and convictions remain as they always have been, if only considerably expanded. The things that frustrate me have to do more with the social aspects of the ward. When I first got here, I was very impressed with how much unsolicited effort went into making me feel welcome and included. I made a handful of good friends and got to know a lot of good people. These days, though, I'm finding myself back to the position of feeling, as I have put it to other individuals, out-of-sight-out-of-mind. It's partly my fault for inherently not liking to be openly social and self out-putting, but a lot of it appears to me like I'm just being overlooked or forgotten. I don't live where the primary groups of ward members live, so it seems like I just tend to get left out of things. It makes me kinda sad, but whatever. If people can't remember that I exist and like to do stuff on their own, I certainly don't want them to have to be compelled to invite me to stuff just so they don't feel bad about it. I, personally, have stopped caring about it a long time ago. It only makes me angsty and emo-esque, two things that I utterly despise.
There is a bright side to all this, though! If only a temporary one. I made a friend via my classes this semester. Her name is Mari and she is quite possibly among the most awesome girls that I have ever met. In fact, nearly every time I've described her to other people and then mentioned that she isn't available, they suddenly feel very sorry for me. Yeah, me too perhaps, but I am quite content to be friends. It's only one of the best experiences I've ever had, after all. :P
So, she's in all of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then has an additional class at the same campus later in the evening both days. Because of the several hour gap between the end of our last class together and that one on both days, I've been having her over at my place to hang out, relax, and occasionally catch up on late assignments in superior comfort than what would have been available on campus. This most fortunate turn of events has given me the most pleasant effect of having company at home for several hours on a regular basis. I'll tell you what, after my experience with my former roommate, having company that I adore, rather than want to kill is absolutely fantastic. I also get to show off my amazing usefulness and friendliness around her, too, which is great because those are two of my most underutilized traits. Yesterday, for example, she had an essay for her evening class that she still needed to write. She was, of course, more than welcome to hang out at my place and work on it there, and she did take advantage of the offer. (For which I was greatly pleased.) I've been saying for a long time that the only thing that really motivates me is doing things with/for someone that I like and enjoy being with, and Mari clearly qualifies for that position. While she was working on the paper, I was able to go to the store for her, cash in her collection of coins and use it to buy brownie mix and cookie dough that she needed to get. Not that I normally loathe doing favors for other people, but it felt pretty nice being in that position. Once I got back, we chatted a little bit, and then I left her alone to work on her paper while I took a much needed nap on the couch.
I made a startling observation sometime around that point. I really do enjoy having the company of some people, even when we aren't actually doing anything. I was really happy, which is an unusual thing for me. I would love to be able to experience that sort of feeling on a more regular basis. Now, if I could just find a girl who is equally as awesome *AND* would be alright with adding my last name to hers... I can only dream. Haha
The sad part is that my regular interactions with Mari may be rather short-lived. She lives much farther to the north of me and is only down here quite so much because she takes the classes at the Northridge campus. After this semester, that may not be the case any longer. Certainly, we'll still be friends, but the convenience of being in such close proximity on a regular basis may not remain. I will be sad. :(
